


Truth

by Hormonal_Trashbag



Series: Moments of Desparity [5]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Post-Canon, Some angst, with a side of confused feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 15:50:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14548125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hormonal_Trashbag/pseuds/Hormonal_Trashbag
Summary: A small weight was placed into his arms and Kylo started. In Rey’s hold, their bundled child hadn’t looked so fragile and tiny but he was instantly made aware of how large, almost clumsy, his hands were.“Ben, relax. You aren’t going to hurt her,” Rey murmured, her tired voice seeped with joy and pride. He should have felt irritated by how well she read him or embarrassed by his apprehension. Instead, he stared down into his daughter’s bluish eyes, mesmerized by the blended features that made up her round face.“She has my ears,” he mumbled. “Poor thing.”





	Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Kagamisorciere for your speedy beta powers! :D

He felt exhausted. Rey had just spent the last ten hours of labor crushing the hand he had offered her but he was numb to the throbbing. She had given Kylo a beautiful daughter– a princess for his blooming empire. There was no conceivable way to ever repay the gift he had been blessed with; after years of loneliness, he had a family all his own.

 

The Nabooian nurses clucked at his presence in the birthing hall but nothing could deter his need to be there, not even a squabbling cluster of matronly gungans attending alongside the Imperial midwives and healers of Theed Palace.

 

A small weight was placed into his arms and Kylo started. In Rey’s hold, their bundled child hadn’t looked so fragile and tiny but he was instantly made aware of how large, almost clumsy, his hands were.

 

“Ben, relax. You aren’t going to hurt her,” Rey murmured, her tired voice seeped with joy and pride. He should have felt irritated by how well she read him or embarrassed by his apprehension. Instead, he stared down into his daughter’s bluish eyes, mesmerized by the blended features that made up her round face.

 

“She has my ears,” he mumbled. “Poor thing.”

 

Rey snickered. “You’ll have plenty of time to teach her how to hide them behind her hair.”

 

* * *

 

He stood straight with Rey in her rightful place: before the Imperial court as his Empress. After the necessary period of recovery– during which she refused the help of a wet nurse– it was time to present Myra, the light of their lives, to the public.

 

Kylo wasn’t particularly pleased at having Myra paraded about like some attraction at a zoo for the affable. But Rey found his hand and grounded him as no one else could. For now, he had to share his daughter but infants couldn’t keep the court’s interest for very long. He hadn’t forgotten what he had overheard in his boyhood, the cruelty he had endured as the young prince of a planet he had never known.

 

Kylo would do what his mother had failed to– protect his child from all that wished to harm her. He would damn himself to do it.

 

* * *

 

He wasn’t so fretful when a son was placed in his arms. The boy screamed and screamed after entering the world and for several days he wondered if it was a sign that regardless of his regret, he would one day be punished in the way his father had been. Rey called him dramatic and kissed the dark blemishes of his face without relenting.

 

* * *

 

When the children were old enough, Myra twelve years old and Bennet ten, Kylo and Rey sat them down on their large bed and told them about the war. He hadn’t wanted to make the same mistake his parents had by concealing the awful truth, so they bore their sacrifices and missteps to their daughter and son.

 

Bennet was quick to forgive, a trait he had inherited from Rey, but Myra refused to look either of them in the eye. _How could you murder grandpa? Why would you ever hurt mum like that? How could mum ever have been part of the traitorous Resistance when Myra feared being attacked in her bed by the fierce General Dameron or infamous Finn?_

 

Her curious, pained thoughts slipped from her mind with the ease of water streaming out between open fingers. Each one plunged into his chest like ice.

 

* * *

 

It was a moment of bliss. He slowly rocked his pelvis against her backside, his knees pressing into the backs of hers. Kylo brushed her loose hair away to expose the back of her neck, his open mouth sucking red, sloppy circles on pale skin. She had mentioned a few weeks ago that she was ready. They should try for another baby.

 

The thought of coming inside of her and a child resulting from it had him eager to sink into the sleek warmth of her sex, to savor the sensation of burying himself inch by inch so he could feel her body twitch and slowly adjust to him.

 

Rey turned her neck to look at him from over his shoulder, a familiar expression– the one she had sent Kylo as she closed herself off to him on Crait– slackened her delicate features.

 

“Why would I want to have a family with you? You chose a position of power over everything I saw in your... _our_ future.”

 

Kylo realized the last years, seconds, synapses, had been a glorious, pitiful lie– a dream. He jolted into wakefulness.

 

* * *

 

Rey sat at the edge of his bed, her bare back turned to him. Kylo had expected her to express her absolute disgust for his telling dreams in a barrage of searing accusations. Instead, she exposed raw, heavy acceptance.

 

“You never asked me what I saw in your future,” she said with silent calm. “I’ve always wondered if you’ve ignored it because you were too caught up in your own visions or because you wanted to discredit mine.”

 

“Rey…”

 

She shook her head, her hands reaching over her shoulders in a trembling self-embrace.

 

“I suppose what I saw is hardly relevant anymore. You’re walking a path I can’t join you on.”

 

Kylo bristled at her accusation. She had made plenty of the sort since their separation on _The Supremacy,_ focused entirely on his decision. Had she forgotten the choice _she_ had made? Her own sense of righteousness that had interceded the depth of their connection?

 

“What was I supposed to do?” he bit out with halted breaths. “Follow you back to the Resistance to die at the hands of the people you wanted me to save? I might be a lot of things, Rey, but a martyr isn’t one of them. Especially not for such a pitiable camp of rebels and warmongers.”

 

“Your mother–”

 

“–would have stood aside to let her toy soldiers rip me to pieces,” he finished for her. “General Organa is more mercenary than you realize. Don’t fool yourself into thinking she would step in for _my_ sake, not at the expense of the cozy position she’s found for herself nor for someone she finds so wholly undeserving.”

 

She sprung to her feet and whirled on him.

 

“You’re not undeserving!”

 

Rey realized her nudity a moment later but to her credit, she stood with her shoulders thrown back. “You have made mistakes, not even you can deny that, but she’s your _mother,_ Ben. She loves you!”

 

Kylo struggled to tear his gaze away from the soft mounds of her chest, bouncing with her enthusiasm.

 

He closed his eyes with a stifled sigh. “I appreciate the sentiment but I’m afraid the next atmo is always clearer.”

 

“What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean? You have a mother that is still alive and against all odds, cares for you.”

 

This conversation sounded too familiar. He unscrambled his tangled, irritable thoughts in an uncomfortable silence.

 

“What did you see in your visions, then?”

 

She grit her teeth. “Our children.”

 

He watched her pause, look to the corner of the room, purse her peach velvet lips.

 

“In my dreams, her name was Kira.” Rey hesitated. “I...never saw the seedling born in my visions. Just always...here.”

 

Her palm rested over her trim abdomen.

 

His heart thudded at the affectionate way _seedling_ lilted on her tongue.

 

Kylo tried to swallow around the tight knot forming in his throat. “Was that...unappealing to you?”

 

She remembered then where she was and with whom she was speaking. An emotion he couldn’t identify flit across her face before she spun about, turning her back to him once more.

 

It seemed she still couldn’t lie.

 

_“No.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


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